Take My Hand
by pulchritudinousCataclysm
Summary: Dean Winchester saves a mute man who had been assaulted; little did he know that what has seemed like such a small act of kindness would lead to the most important thing in his life. Supernatural AU with no...supernatural things OTL title is subject to change because I suck at titles
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hello friends I am here**

**so basically there was a tumblr post and I wrote this drabble on it and decided I will most likely continue it. I won't make any promises, though.**

**hope it's not too crappy OTL**

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"Watch where you're going, asshole."

A pause.

"How about an apology, huh?"

Silence.

"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?"

A thud.

"I said I want an apology, you little shit-"

Another thud.

This couldn't be good. Dean Winchester started in the direction of the voices, first at a walk, then quickening his pace to a jog, the alleyway that the voices were coming from. Two young men were towering over another; it was pretty obvious what was going on even if Dean hadn't heard the voices.

"Hey!" he barked, hoping to seem intimidating. To his relief, the two young men ran off in the other direction, probably thinking he was a cop or something.

Dean hurried to the scrawny young man's side, pulling him to his feet. "Hey, you alright?"

The man nodded, pulling a notepad and a pen out of his trench coat's pocket and writing something down before showing it to Dean.

'I am fine. Thank you for your help,' it said in small, tidy writing.

Dean stared at the note, then at the young man's face, and back to the note.

"You can't talk..?" he asked quietly, the corners of his lips turning downwards in a slight frown. When the shorter man shook his head, Dean's frown deepened. "You shouldn't be out here alone, then. Let me walk you home... Hey, what's your name?"

The young man quickly wrote, then held up his notepad.

'My name is Castiel.'

Dean read it quickly and nodded. "Castiel... Is it alright if I call you Cas?" Without waiting for an answer, he gave another nod. "Okay, Cas. I'm Dean. Now where do you live?"

With the help of a neat little map drawn by Castiel, Dean was able to lead the shorter man home. Just as Castiel was about to go inside, Dean called out to him. "Cas, wait up a sec." He held out his hand. "Let me see your notepad thing."

Castiel handed Dean his notepad and pen, tilting his head to one side questioningly. The taller man took the pad and pen and wrote down his cell phone number and his name, then handed them back. "Call- uh, text me if you need anything, okay? And be careful. See ya'." With that, Dean left, heading back home.

Later that night, as Dean lay in bed, he realized that he had not once stopped smiling since he had left Castiel's apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

'Hello, Dean.'

Dean stared at the text on the screen of his phone. The sender was an unfamiliar number, and there was no indication of who it might have been from.

Oh. Wait.

'cas?' Dean typed, thumb hovering over the send button for a moment before pushing down on it.

The reply came in moments.

'Yes?'

Dean chuckled softly, imagining that questioning look on Castiel's face.

'just makin sure it was you. you feelin alright today?'

'Yes. I was wondering if you had anything to do today. If not, would you like to come here for dinner, perhaps? I would like to repay you for helping me last night."

Dean rolled onto his stomach, holding back a snort of laughter. "Who the hell uses 'perhaps' in a text?" he said to himself, chuckling.

'im not gonna refuse food but you know you dont have to repay me right?'

'But I want to.'

'yeah yeah alright. what time should i be there?'

'Would you like to come early for recreational activities?'

This time, Dean flat out laughed. Castiel was pretty uptight, wasn't he? Though heading over early for "recreational activities" didn't sound half bad.

'sure, sounds good to me. im off work today so any time is alright.'

'One o'clock, then?'

'alright, cool. see you then.'

On a second thought, Dean sent another text.

':)'

Crap. Was that too weird? Dean frowned a little, staring at the screen.

Another message came in.

'What?'

Dean blinked. Maybe Castiel wasn't used to texting? Oh, well. He shrugged and responded.

'look at it sideways'

After a few long moments, the response came.

'It appears to be smiling at me.'

'yes cas that's the point. it's a smiley face.'

Dean honestly didn't know why he even bothered explaining; Castiel probably could have figured it out on his own, given time. A glance at the clock on Dean's phone told him be had over four hours to get ready. Might as well eat something, he thought. Just as he stood, his phone vibrated again.

'Oh. Then :) to you as well. :)'

Dean felt a smile spread across his face again. He'd have to help Castiel get used to these things.

At exactly one, Dean found himself sitting in his black '67 Impala, parked in front of Castiel's apartment complex. Not wanting to seem too desperate, he waited for the hands on his watch to tell him it was 1:02 before he climbed out of his car and headed up to Castiel's place.

Dean hesitated a little before knocking on the door, his heart pounding in his chest. Why was he even so nervous? It wasn't like this was going to be a date or anything...right?

The door opened, and there stood Castiel, dressed in what looked like another set of exactly the same clothes he had been wearing the day before, minus the trench coat.

He held up a little handmade sign that looked like a lot of effort was put into- on it was a sketch of Dean, along with the words 'Welcome, Dean.' in that neat writing of his.

"Wow," Dean said softly, taking the sign and examining the picture. "Cas, did you...draw this?"

The mute man nodded, a little bit of pride visible in his usually unreadable eyes.

"Can I keep it?" Dean asked, a soft blush spreading across his face. Castiel's expression brightened, and he actually smiled a little, nodding and gesturing for Dean to follow him inside. Dean complied, shutting the door behind him. The only clear thought in his mind as he followed Castiel in was that he would love to see more of that smile.


	3. Chapter 3

'I was not sure what sort of recreational activities you have interest in, so I borrowed board games from the landlady.' Castiel typed on his phone as he led Dean to a tidy living room, where a neatly stacked pile of board game boxes sat on a little coffee table.

Dean stifled a laugh. "Well, what do you normally do with friends?"  
Castiel erased his previous text, then quickly typed his response.

'I do not have friends.'

Dean felt his heart drop into his stomach. "You...don't?" He frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. Castiel shrugged, typing again.

'People tend to avoid speaking to me once they learn of my disability. I suppose it is too troublesome for them to deal with. So I do not have friends.'

"Cas..." Dean hesitated, thinking his next words might be too imposing. But he figured he would regret it if he didn't say them.

"I... I'm your friend now, okay? So none of that crap about not having friends. I'm here, so you don't have to be alone anymore."

The look on Castiel's face told Dean that he had done the right thing.

'Thank you, Dean. I cannot express my gratitude enough.' Castiel held up his phone, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned.

"Look, you don't have to do anything to express gratitude or whatever. Friends are supposed to have each other's backs." Dean rubbed the back of his neck, grinning. "Hey, loosen up, will you? No need to be so formal!" He made his way to the little table and flopped down on the floor, looking through the selection of board games for a little before choosing chess.  
"You like chess, Cas?"

To his slight surprise, the shorter man nodded.

'I often play against myself when I do not have any other matters to attend to.'

Dean felt his heart sink again as the image of Castiel sitting and playing chess alone crossed his mind.

"Well, buddy, you won't have to play by yourself anymore." He smiled, setting up the chess board as Castiel sat across from him.

'I may not be very skilled in chess, as I have not ever played against another person. I do apologize if I bore you.'

Dean grinned, letting out a little laugh. "Don't worry, I'm not the greatest at it either."

But Dean could tell a few matches in that Castiel had been heavily underestimating himself.

Thirty-seven matches later, Dean had not won a single time.

He was happy, though, because every time Castiel won, those beautiful blue eyes of his lit up like those of a child who had just won an award.


	4. Chapter 4

"Damn, Cas, I thought you said you weren't good at this!" Dean said teasingly.

That ghost of a smile appeared on Castiel's face for a brief moment before he glanced at the clock.

'I will begin preparations for our meal.' he typed before slipping his phone into his pocket and standing up.

Dean stood as well. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Castiel shook his head, pulling out his phone again.

'Please, allow me to prepare the meal for you.'

He started to put his phone away, but pulled it back out, typing one more short thing:

':)'

Dean chuckled. "You do realize you could just smile, right? Instead of typing that?"

Castiel paused, then sort of grimaced. Dean's first thought was to apologize, until he realized that Castiel was trying to smile.

"No, no, Cas, like this." He smiled, hoping Castiel would follow suit.

Castiel's grimace only deepened.

Dean laughed lightly. "C'mere, man." He reached out and pushed up the corners of Castiel's lips, then let out a snort of laughter.

"Try it yourself."

Castiel reached up to his own face and pushed up the corners of his mouth, looking up at Dean as if to ask 'Am I doing it right?'

Dean laughed again, ruffling Castiel's hair. "That's a start."

That look of childish pride crossed Castiel's face again before he turned and made his way to the kitchen.

As Castiel worked on the food, Dean chattered away, finding that he was very easy to talk to. He spoke of his family, mostly of his brother, since his parents were still a bit of a touchy topic for him, and of previous jobs he'd had, of strange customers he'd had to deal with...

He talked on and on through the meal, which was wonderful, as he continually informed Castiel. It had been a very long time since Dean had been able to talk so freely, and it felt great.

Too soon, it was time for Dean to return home.

"Hey, man, I had a great time," he said as Cas walked him out. "Could we do this again sometime, maybe?" he asked a bit timidly.

He was not prepared for Castiel's reaction.

The shorter man's eyes lit up, brighter than they had earlier, and he fumbled for his phone, typing at lightning speed.

'I would enjoy that very much. Would you like to come back again next week?'

"Of course!" Dean replied quickly, hoping he didn't sound too eager.

The smile on Castiel's face told him it didn't matter if he did.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:djsjdksnsksks I just want to thank those of you who reviewed/followed/favorited this. ;A; It keeps me motivated, and jxjdukdksndofkdkdk I love you guys!**

**Anyway, here's chapter five! Hope it's not too dumb. OTL**

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The "recreational activities" and dinners became a weekly thing, and whenever Dean had free time, he would text Castiel.

He learnt that Castiel's favorite colors were blue, green, and black, and that he didn't have a favorite food; he had, at one point, been able to speak, but was involved in an accident in which he lost his parents and older brother, and hadn't been able to bring himself to speak since. Along with this muteness, the accident had caused him hyperthyroidism, which explained why he was so thin.

He also learnt that there were many things that Castiel had never been able to do, such as visiting amusement parks or going to a beach.

Dean decided that he would take Castiel to do these things himself.

The next time Castiel opened the door to greet him, Dean did not go inside. Ignoring the questioning look he was given, Dean grabbed the shorter man's hand and pulled him out to his car, a wide grin on his face. Only after making sure that Castiel was safely inside the car did he climb into the driver's side, starting up the engine and driving off.

By the time they arrived at their destination, Dean felt like his mouth might fall of from smiling so much.

"Alright , Cas, you ready?!" He jumped out of the car, jogging around to the other side to help Castiel out. Though he knew that the blue-eyed man was perfectly capable of getting out himself, he wanted to treat him well.

Then Castiel's phone was held up.

'Where are we?'

"You'll see when we get in!" Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and led him into a building.

"Roller skating! I figured you've never been, so I thought why the hell not?" He led Castiel to a bench, got his shoe size, then went to the counter, returning in minutes with two pairs of skates.

"Put 'em on," he instructed, slipping off his shoes and putting on his own skates. Castiel pulled on his, shooting a few questioning looks in Dean's direction.

Once Dean was sure that Castiel's skates were securely on, he stood, pulling the shorter man to his feet.

"It's gonna feel a little funny at first, but once you get used to it, it's fun." Dean led Castiel to the rink, going in first to show him it was okay.

"Don't worry; I'll catch you if you fall." He held out his arms as if to prove it.

Castiel took a hesitant step out, the usually unreadable expression on his face replaced with a flustered, nervous look. A look that, though he would never admit it, Dean found extremely adorable.

"That's it, you got it," Dean said encouragingly, backing up ever so slightly. With each step Castiel took forwards, Dean let the wheels on his skates slide him back. He only stopped when the two of them were far enough from the edge.

"Alright, Cas, now just sort of...push." Dean pushed off, skating a few paces away before turning and coming back to Castiel's side. "Try it."

Castiel started to shake his head, but stopped himself. A look of determination crossed his face- making Dean's heart flutter- and he pushed off, going a few yards before slowing to a stop.

Dean skated over to him, grinning. "Isn't it fun?!"

Castiel nodded, then tried again, going a little further this time...

Dean watched him with a smile, keeping close enough to him to catch him if he fell.

They had made it around the rink a few times, and Castiel was comfortably skating far enough away from Dean, when a couple of teenage boys came barreling towards them, laughing and not particularly paying attention to where they were going.

"Son of a- Cas, watch out!" Seeing that Castiel didn't seem to be moving out of the way, Dean rushed at him, half-tackling him to get him out of harm's path.

He tried to stop quickly, but ended up spinning off to the side with Castiel held tightly in his arms. Luckily, they slowed to a stop just before they hit anything.

Dean loosened his grip, not completely letting go of Castiel, but pulling back enough to look at him. "You alright, Cas?"

Castiel's eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed slightly. He nodded slowly... then suddenly burst into a fit of silent laughter.

Dean blinked in surprise. "Cas..?" Though he wasn't sure of the reason behind the laughter, it was contagious, and Dean soon found himself laughing as well.

And seeing Castiel with such a carefree, joyful expression made Dean indescribably happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: cries because you people are beautiful beings and thank you all so much for your support**

**To be honest, I wasn't expecting this to get much attention at all, but I already have 30 followers hELP I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS but yes I cannot thank you guys enough ~~~**

**whispers I should have said this way earlier but I don't own supernatural or anything and yes hello enjoy next chapter /rolls away**

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After that, Dean was determined to make Castiel laugh more often.

He took him to do all of the things he had never done, like bowling or going to the movies, all in hopes of making him happy.

Then, Dean took Castiel somewhere he hadn't been in a very long time: Disneyland.

It took a while for him to earn enough money for two tickets, but he was willing to do anything to see Castiel smile again.

Dean made sure to get to the park early enough that they wouldn't have to wait too long to get in.

He dragged Castiel right off to Tomorrowland, determined to get in the line for Space Mountain before it got crowded. Luckily, there were only a few people before them, and they were able to get on quickly.

"You ready, Cas?!" Dean asked excitedly, pulling his safety bar down and making sure Castiel did the same.

Castiel nodded hesitantly, obviously wary of the ride. He gripped the safety bar tightly, drawing a laugh from Dean.

"It's fun, I promise!"

Then the ride began. Castiel looked around in awe at the flashing lights as the ride ascended, amazed by the sight.

When the countdown began, Dean felt Castiel freak out a bit next to him, and put a hand on his arm. "Ready~?!"

Castiel's response was to take Dean's hand in his and grip it tightly.

His grip tightened even more when the roller coaster dropped, taking off. It didn't loosen until the ride was over.

"Well?" Dean asked, grinning, as they disembarked and left the ride.

Castiel pulled out his phone and typed rapidly.

'It gave me a very peculiar sensation at first, but that soon gave way to excitement. I enjoyed it very much.'

"Caaaaas," Dean whined. "I told you, you don't have to be so formal!" Before Castiel could respond, Dean grabbed his hand and dragged him off to the next ride.

They went on ride after ride, until they had gone on every single ride once.

Then Dean dragged Castiel back to the carousel, helping him onto a horse and hopping on behind him. He slipped his arms around the smaller man, mumbling something about holding on for safety...

But he was sure Castiel knew better.

Once the ride had begun, Dean rested his chin on Castiel's shoulder.

"Hey, Cas?"

Dean could see Castiel's phone screen as he typed.

'Yes?'

"You're great, you know that?"

'I do not particularly agree, but I do know that you are quite great yourself.'

"Heeeyyy, Caaaaas?"

'Yeeeesss?'

Dean chuckled softly.

"I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: whoopsie doooodles, I meant to say this last chapter but to guest reviewer MariMagda, merci mille fois! **

**Also I am not sure if the guest reviews under "guest" are all the same person or not but LET ME LOVE YOU SBSBSKDJSJSKJDKFKa but anyway yes thank you all so much **

**Also I am sorry for any typos but I am typing all of this on my phone ;w; **

** here is next chapter~ sorry it is kind of shittily written OTL**

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Castiel nearly dropped his phone.

He took a moment to compose himself, then typed his response with trembling hands.

'What? I' -a pause- 'am not sure I heard correctly...'

"I love you." Dean said again, giving Castiel a little squeeze.

Castiel slipped his phone into his pocket for fear of dropping it. He sat there tensely for a long moment...

Then he turned and gave Dean a timid peck on the cheek. His phone came out again, a response typed.

'I love you, too.'

Dean read those four words over and over, then let out a giddy laugh and nuzzled Castiel's back. "Good, 'cause I'd be pretty damn bummed if you didn't."

The carousel slowed to a stop. Dean hopped off of the horse, turned to Castiel, and bowed, holding out his hand.

Castiel chuckled silently, taking Dean's hand and allowing himself to be helped off the horse, and the two made their way out of the ride, still hand in hand.

"Cas, anything you wanna go on again?" Dean asked excitedly, squeezing Castiel's hand.

Unwilling to release Dean's hand, he pulled out his phone and typed with one hand.

'Everything was quite enjoyable; is there anything you would like to ride again?'

Dean nodded. "Yeah, lots of 'em. Let's head back to Frontierland, I want a hat." Grinning, he led Castiel through the park.

The pair ended up going back to almost every ride at least two more times; by that time, it was dark outside.

"Hey, the fireworks start in an hour." Dean said, glancing at his watch. He slipped his hand into Castiel's, lacing their fingers, and led him towards the front of the castle.

"Okay, so before I say anything else, I'm gonna warn you: the following may be cheesy as hell." Dean let go of Castiel's hand and faced him. "Okay, 'will be', not 'may be'."

Castiel's brow furrowed in confusion, his head tilting to one side.

Dean took a deep breath and let it out, rubbing his hands together nervously. "I don't normally do stuff like this, but I figure it's only right if I do this time." He swallowed hard, then looked Castiel in the eyes. Oh, those beautiful blue eyes...

"Alright. I got this." Dean cleared his throat.

"Castiel, will you- nooo, no, God no, that's lame. Shit. Uh. Well. Okay, I'm trying to be proper and ask you out here. But, as you can see, I'm complete shit at it, and I oh, you're coming closer-" Dean's nervous rambling was cut off...

...by Castiel's soft, sweet lips on his.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: wowowow I cannot thank you guys enough for the support you've been giving me. ;w; I just auusuhhdhhdhjsnzjskdkekkskskskirbddnnsnsguhhzhhsj**

**also I apologize for any excessive cheesiness in this chapter; I just read Twist and Shout and finished watching season 7 episode 10 and I needed cheesy happy stuff okay /sobs grossly**

**but yes here is the next chapter~**

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Castiel stepped back, a timid smile on his face. Dean simply stood there for a moment, blinking a few times. Though he had been the one to confess his feelings first, though he had known for a long time that he and Castiel shared a special, profound bond, Dean was caught off guard.

Castiel had just kissed him. Castiel, with the entrancing blue eyes, the perfect pink lips, the graceful, fluid body, and adorably untidy black hair.

Castiel had just kissed him. Castiel, who Dean had been infatuated with since the day they met.

Castiel had just kissed him.

Castiel had just kissed him?

Oh.

_Oh._

Dean felt his face, ears, and neck turn bright red. Awesome. Very smooth, Dean. By this point, he'd been standing there gawking long enough to worry Castiel, who was tugging on Dean's sleeve and frowning.

Frowning? No, Castiel shouldn't frown. Castiel had such a beautiful smile...

The next thing Dean knew, he had leaned down and his lips were pressed gently against Castiel's, his arms around the shorter man's waist. Too soon, he felt, he pulled away, eyes wide with wonder.

Castiel chuckled silently, tapping Dean's nose and mouthing a "beep!"

Dean opened his mouth to make some snide remark, but was interrupted by a little girl in a Cinderella dress tugging at Castiel's trench coat.

Castiel knelt down, a soft smile on his face, and pulled out his phone.

'Hello!'

"Hi, Mister! Are you a prince?"

Castiel blinked in surprise, and Dean stifled a laugh.

"Yep, he sure is!" Dean crouched down next to Castiel.

"Oooooh!" the girl squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. "Will you be my prince?"

Before Castiel could answer, Dean tossed an arm around him. "Sorry, sweetie, but he's my prince," he declared with a grin.

The girl blinked in confusion. "Then what are _you_..?"

As Dean struggled to think of an answer, Castiel typed up one of his own and showed it to the girl.

'He's also a prince.'

The girl tapped her chin. "So you're both each other's prince?" She giggled. "Okay!" Turning to Castiel, she asked, "Mister Prince, why don't you talk?" A horrified gasp. "Did the evil witch take your voice?!"

Castiel nodded gravely. 'Yes. The evil witch stole my voice, so my prince is going to help me get it back.'

The girl turned to Dean, and grasped his hands tightly. "I believe in you!" she declared, nodding in approval. Then she leaned in close and stage-whispered, "I know you can do it 'cause you're his true love!"

Castiel turned bright red, and Dean grinned wolfishly.

"You bet!"

"Charlie? Charlie, come here, don't bother anyone, okay?" A woman approached, ruffling the girl's hair. "I'm so sorry if she caused you any trouble," she said to Dean and Castiel.

Before either of the men could answer, Charlie tugged her mother's shirt excitedly. "Mama, they're princes!"

"That's great, Charlie, now we've got to get going. "

As her mother dragged her off, Charlie turned and waved at Dean and Castiel.

Then the fireworks began, a beautiful sight that was over all too soon.

It took them a little while to get back to Castiel's apartment. By the time they arrived, the blue-eyed man was fast asleep. Dean chuckled softly to himself and climbed out of the car, heading around to he other side. He opened the door and unbuckled Castiel's seatbelt before lifting him gently out of the car and carrying him up to his apartment. Castiel was incredibly light, to no one's surprise.

Dean shifted Castiel over to his left arm and reached behind the small potted plant by the door for the key. After quite a bit of fumbling, he managed to get the door open and get inside and get Castiel over to his bed. He had fully intended to take off the smaller man's trench coat and shoes, but when he tried to straighten up, he found that he could not. A glance downwards told him that Castiel had somehow managed to get a firm grasp on his sleeve.

After a few tries to pry off Castiel's hand, Dean gave up. He sat down on the floor and rested his head in his arms on the bed, his gaze lovingly resting on Castiel's sleeping face until he, too, was welcomed by the hands of sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: guhhsbthansjdjnsks thank you all so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! It just makes me so happy to see the numbers change~ ;7;**

**but anyhow yes gudndjdrne thank you so much!**

**here is the next chapter!**

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_"Hey, Cassy, how about you let me bake your birthday cake this year?" Balthazar said, flashing a smile._

_"Hmmm, maaybe." Fourteen-year-old Castiel pretended to think hard about it. "I dunno, your cakes are kind of mediocre," he teased. In all honesty, though, Balthazar's cakes were his favorite. And on this day, the day his thirteenth year finally ended, nothing sounded better._

_"Give him a break, Cas," their father said with a chuckle from his spot behind the wheel. Their mother turned around to look at her sons, a huge smile on her face. "Balthy, can we leave that to you, then?"_

_"Of course!" Balthazar said with a grin._

_Then everything shattered. Crushing glass and metal, burning rubber; screams of terror and pain, smoke and glowing fire, fading away into darkness..._

_Castiel felt himself drifting through the darkness, unsure what had just happened, unable to open his eyes..._

_He heard someone calling his name._

"Cas? Cas! Wake up! Cas!"

_Dean..?_

_Why was Dean there? He hadn't known Dean back then..._

"Cas, please wake up!"

Castiel woke with a gasp, jolting upright...and right into Dean's arms.

"Shh, Cas, it's okay, it was only a nightmare..." Dean whispered soothingly, rubbing Castiel's back.

It was then that Castiel realized that his face was wet with tears.

... Oh.

Well that was embarrassing.

Though he had told Dean of the accident, he hasn't told him about this recurring nightmare.

He had the same one every night since the accident, and he would wake with his throat hoarse from screams he couldn't emit when he was awake.

Wait.

Screams.

Did that mean Dean had heard him..?

"Cas, are... Are you okay? You were... You sounded like you were in pain."

Well, that answered it.

Castiel wiped his face with his sleeve and reached for his phone, typing as quickly as possible.

'I am sorry that you had to be here when this happened.' Though what he had really wanted to say was 'I am sorry that the first time you ever heard my voice had to be me screaming in my sleep.'

Then it dawned on him.

'Dean, did you stay the night here?' His brow furrowed slightly, head tilting to one side in confusion.

Dean chuckled. "I sure did. Though it's still like, stupid o'clock in the morning, so you should try to get more sleep. I thought about gettin' you out of those clothes so you'd be more comfortable, but figured that's a tad bit of an invasion of privacy. That, and you had a pretty strong grip on my sleeve, Superman." He grinned, ruffling Castiel's hair.

Castiel felt his cheeks flush red.

'Wait here, I'll go get you something more comfortable for the remainder of the night.' With that, Castiel went to his living room and pulled out a box with the words "Balthy's clothes" written on it. Though Balthazar had been a bit shorter than Dean, his clothes would be better fitting than Castiel's.

Castiel dug through the box in search of something comfortable looking for Dean to wear. It took a bit to find something, but as soon as he did, he brought it back to Dean, who, out of respect, went to the restroom to change. Castiel managed to change into something more comfortable himself before Dean returned- he'd felt a sudden rush of homesickness and decide to wear a shirt of Balthazar's himself.

Dean came back in, and Castiel found that he had been right. The pants were around an inch too short, and the bottom of the shirt hardly met the waist of the pants.

"These your brother's?" At Castiel's nod, Dean continued. "Yeah, I figured. They're a little too big for you." He climbed into Castiel's bed, holding up the sheets invitingly like it was the most natural thing to do. "C'mere, I'll keep the nightmares away."

Castiel found himself smiling happily as he climbed into bed, snuggling up against Dean's warm chest.

It was not long before the wings of sleep enveloped the pair, pulling them back under.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: SOBS GROSSLY I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE ;A; I've been working on some cosplays/props for Anime Expo in July~ ;w; gsjsjdksosbuueeehhh also I apologize ahead of time for this chapter. Tw: depression, self harm. OTL I was gonna try to keep this fluffy and cute the whole time, but that is just completely impossible for me. Nothing I write or rp is ever angst-less OTL OTL OTL but anyway yes here you go**

* * *

"Okay, that's it. I'm never gonna believe you again when you say you're not good at something." Dean set down his GameCube controller, pouting.

Cas chuckled silently, lifting his phone.

'I really did not expect to be any good at it. It is my first time playing, after all.'

"Stop rubbing it in!" Dean flopped over onto his stomach, sulking. Castiel crawled over and lay down next to him, trying hard to keep a straight face. Dean stared at him, trying to glare...but he simply couldn't. "Dammit, Cas, I just can't stay mad at you." He reached over and pulled Castiel into his arms, then proceeded to roll around on the floor with him, only stopping when he was laughing so hard he couldn't move.

When he finally managed to catch his breath, Dean glanced at his watch and sighed. "I have an early start at work tomorrow, so I should probably head home soon." Castiel nodded, his lower lip jutting out a little in a slight pout.

Dean chuckled and ruffled the shorter man's hair. "Don't worry, I'll come straight here after work." He stood and gathered his things, then pulled Castiel into a hug, giving him a tender kiss. "See you tomorrow, Cas." With a smile and a wave, Dean left.

Parting with Dean was always terribly difficult for Castiel. When they were together, he felt happier than he ever had since before the accident. But once he was alone, Castiel would end up thinking, generally about things he didn't want to think about. He would think about the accident, about the kids who bullied him in school after he had become mute, about his family... He would start to feel unbearably lonely, and the scars on his arm from the years of depression he had suffered from after the accident would begin to itch and tingle.

No, he would tell himself. You can't do that anymore. You have Dean. You don't need to.

But the tingling would sometimes get unbearable, and Castiel would head for his blade- but each time, a text from Dean would stop him, leaving him with a smile on his face and not a trace of thought of the blade in his mind.

Sometimes, Castiel would wonder why Dean had chosen him. He did not find himself to be attractive or special in any way, especially next to Dean. Dean was perfect. He was beautiful and friendly, kind and funny...

And Castiel couldn't even bring himself to talk. He had tried so many times after meeting Dean to talk, standing in front of a mirror and opening his mouth, only to get frustrated when he could not manage to make a sound.

Oh, how he wished he could speak, to converse normally with Dean...

Out of all of the people Dean could have chosen from- and Castiel was sure there were plenty- why did he choose Castiel..?

What did he see in him?

Castiel would sit for hours and just think about it all, which would generally lead to depression, pushing Castiel towards the blade...

Today was one of those days.

Castiel found himself sitting on his bathroom floor, stripped down to his boxers, the broken razor blade in his hand. The pale white skin of his bared body looked so inviting, especially when he saw the scars that were already there.

Before the accident, Castiel had actually been quite tan. Marching band in middle school and the beginning of high school had kept him fit and out of the house.

But he stopped going to school after that fatal day. Only after months of persuasion from teachers did Castiel return to education, taking the course of independent study to catch up before returning to school. He made it to a good enough college, graduating with a degree in Latin, for honestly no reason at all. A slip of paper pulled from a hat had decided that for him.

After college, Castiel started a habit of buying things in bulk and selling them online. He knew he would not be able to work with others, given his condition, so this became a solid job for him. He left the apartment less and less often, thus growing paler and paler with each passing day.

A sharp prick in Castiel's leg brought him back to the present. As he had fallen deeper and deeper into thought, the hand holding the blade had fallen into his lap. He lifted it again, and pressed it to his shoulder. Castiel avoided cutting in places like his wrist, which could be easily seen if he wore shorter sleeves. He knew it wouldn't be considered weird for him to never wear sleeveless shirts, so his shoulder was an ideal place; as were his chest, stomach, and inner thighs.

As stupid as he thought it was to cut himself, the relief he got from it was indescribable. Slicing through flesh, killing cells-killing part of himself, no matter how small, felt somehow...great.

Some part of Castiel half expected his phone to go off with a message from Dean.

But there was not a sound in the bathroom aside from Castiel's uneven breathing.

The blade came down on flesh and dragged through, quickly drawing blood. Castiel let out a little sigh, then pressed it down again, dragging it slowly...

As always, Castiel lost track of time as the blade sliced through his flesh over and over, as the blood trickled down his arm. He had moved the blade to his chest, when he heard a noise from the apartment. Tensing, he moved a bit closer to the door to listen.

"Cas?!"

It was Dean's voice, frantically calling for him.

"Cas, are you there?!" He was getting closer to the bathroom...

In a panic, Castiel grabbed some toilet paper, quickly unrolling it and tearing off a piece, wiping the blood from his arm. He pressed it to the cuts, hoping to slow the bleeding while he searched for bandages.

But Dean burst in then.

"Cas! You didn't answer my texts, so I tried calling and-" He froze, eyes falling on the bloody toilet paper against Castiel's arm. His mouth opened, then closed again when he saw the blade.

"Oh, no," Dean whispered. "No, no, Cas, _no_..." His lip quivered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Castiel kept his eyes on the ground. He was so ashamed to have been caught, so ashamed to have been the cause of Dean's tears...

'I'm sorry,' he mouthed, a few tears of his own sliding down his cheek. Now Dean would think he was a freak. Now Dean would hate him. Now Dean would lea-

Dean threw his arms around Castiel, pulling him into a tight hug.

"I-I'm so sorry, Cas," he sobbed quietly. "I sh-should have noticed..."

Castiel stood stock still for the moment it took for everything to register. Dean wasn't...leaving? He relaxed, unable to keep himself from lapsing into sobs.

When Dean finally managed to compose himself enough to speak again, he pulled away, hands resting on Castiel's cheeks. "Please don't do this to yourself anymore," he said quietly. He let go of Castiel, picking up the blade and taking the bloodied toilet paper from him. He threw those away, then rummaged around for the first aid kit.

After he finished tending to Castiel's shoulder, Dean picked the smaller man up and carried him to the couch. He left for a moment, returning with hot tea and blankets; he set down the tea and wrapped the blankets around Castiel before worming his way in and slipping his arms around him.

After a long silence, Dean spoke.

"Cas?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows in response.

"I love you."

'I love you too,' Castiel mouthed.

Dean pulled himself up and pressed a gentle, tender kiss to Castiel's lips.

"I love you so, so much..." He showered the smaller man with tiny little kisses on his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, his shoulders...

Then he shifted so Castiel could rest comfortably on top of him, and his arms locked around the mute man's waist. "Rest, baby. You must be tired," he murmured.

Castiel had never been so grateful for someone in his entire life. The question of "why me?" floated back into his mind, but he pushed it away. He could ask Dean all of the questions he wanted to later. For now, he would take Dean's advice and rest.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: AGGHSHDJDJENDKDKD I am sort of almost done with my cosplay stuffff yaaaayy ;w; I'm making wings for my Cas cosplaaaay yaaaay~ but yes that is what is taking so long because processing feathers OTL long story short, I am so sorry for the slow update again. OTL also! If you guys have any ideas or anything you'd like to see in this fic, please let me know! And thank you guys so, so much for all of the reviews and support!**

**anyhow, here is the next chapter! Sorry for poopishness OTL**

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Dean woke up early the next day and called in sick to work. Then he lay there for who knows how long, stroking Castiel's hair and watching him sleep. He was still a bit in shock from what he had seen the night before, but he was aware enough to be upset with himself for not having noticed earlier on. Dean knew of Castiel's harsh past; he knew how the smaller man had suffered. Yet somehow, it had never once crossed his mind that something like this might be happening...

When Castiel didn't answer his texts the night before, Dean's first thought was that something terrible had happened to the mute man. Then he'd thought he might just be overreacting, that Castiel might have just been busy or sleeping.

As it had turned out, he was right to worry. When he came into the apartment, he saw Castiel's phone on the table. So he knew he was home. Then he'd found him...

Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek and wiped it away, surprised. He hadn't even noticed his eyes watering.

How could he have not noticed? How? He loved Castiel, more than he had ever loved anyone, and he still let this happen...

Dean felt horrible. Worthless. He couldn't protect Castiel from the terrors that haunted him. He couldn't do anything...

No. He couldn't think like this. Even if he couldn't protect Castiel so far, he could still do his best to help him through it. He could keep him safe from now on...

A silent yawn and stretch from Castiel brought Dean out of his reverie.

"'Morning, Cas." Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's forehead. The shorter man looked up at him and smiled softly, then reached for his phone.

'Good morning, Dean. I apologize for the state you fosddjsh' Before he could finish typing, Dean pushed the phone aside.

"Nope. Apology not accepted. Because apology is invalid, yup." At Castiel's look of confusion, Dean smiled. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, babe. So if you try to again, I'll pay my brother to come fart on your pillow. The boy is gassy as _hell_ when he gets his hands on a burrito." His words had Castiel's shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

The phone came back up.

'Don't you have to be at work?'

Dean chuckled. "Nah, I called in sick."

'Any plans for the day?'

"Hmmm, I dunno," Dean said, pretending to think about it. "I think I'll just chill around here and cook for you. Maybe watch a movie with you. And maybe, just maybe, hug the ever-loving shit out of you while we watch said movie." He grinned.

Castiel smiled slightly at him, nodding. 'That sounds rather pleasant,' he typed.

"Perfect. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

'I am sure that anything you make will be much more than satisfactory. :)'

"Great, I'll make pancakes." Dean smiled and sat up, moving Castiel gently off of his lap before standing and heading to the kitchen. Soon, he had a pile of pancakes on a plate in the middle of the table. "Dig in!"

Castiel dug in, eating rather voraciously. He only stopped for a moment to let Dean know how absolutely delightful the pancakes were, then continued to shovel the food down.

After breakfast, the two bundled up on the couch with mugs of Dean's homemade café latte and a large bowl of popcorn.

And then came the Star Wars marathon.

Dean normally would have been entirely enraptured by the movies, but it was a bit difficult to concentrate with Castiel's fingers tracing light circles on his hand the whole time.

They both managed to stay awake through the last movie, but once the credits began, Castiel was out like a light. Dean let his eyes rest on the smaller man for a short while before he joined him in sleep, a soft smile on his face.

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**A/N: cries loudly wowowowow shit ending I am so sorry**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: nsjsksksmsk I am so sorry for the slow updates OTL been busy and stuff. ;3; And writer's block is starting to set in and gahshjdndksksnnzmdmskdkf buehhh. If any of you wonderful people have any ideas or suggestions, the would be greatly appreciated! ;w; also I feel like I'm getting really repetitive jfc I am so sorry OTL and i am so so so sorry for how short this chapter (and most of the others too) is OTL OTL but anyway, here is the next chapter!**

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'Dean, how do you do this again?'

"You poke the thing with the stick."

'Which thing?'

"That thing."

'Dean, there are many things on the table.'

"The ball. With no number. You poke it with the stick. Preferably with enough force to make it hit the other things. Balls. You know what I mean."

Castiel carefully aimed his cue at the white ball, then took a shot at it. The rest of the billiard balls dispersed, and a couple striped balls went in the pockets of the table.

'Did I do okay?'

"Yeah, perfect! Now do it again 'till the things don't make it into the places."

'Very descriptive, Dean.'

In a few hours time, the two were snuggled together on the couch, watching old Star Trek reruns.

"See, now here's something I can do without worrying about you being better than me at it," Dean teased, flicking Castiel's cheek.

Castiel scrunched up his nose at Dean, earning himself a squished face.

"God _damn_, you're cute," Dean snickered, squishing and un-squishing Castiel's face over and over.

Castiel narrowed his eyes, silently 'hmph'-ing and trying to turn his face away. But Dean held him in place, planting a kiss on his lips with a little "mwah!"

In turn, Castiel took Dean's face in his hands and squished his cheeks, giving him a little kiss in return, commencing a smooch war.

Little kisses grew longer, each one more passionate than the last until they were no longer cuddling, but Dean had Castiel pinned to the couch, straddling him as he kissed him again and again...

Nighttime found the two in bed, making sweet love between the thin sheets. Castiel had been a bit hesitant to bare himself, to reveal all of his scars... But he loved Dean, and this was what he wanted. To feel Dean's skin pressed to his, to meld together with him, to become one...

Words could not even begin to describe the euphoria that Castiel felt making love to Dean. He instantly forgot all of his worries, losing himself in passion...

Never in his life had Castiel felt so happy; it was like he had been flying since he met Dean, flying so high he would never have to come back down.

Even the little things about Dean made him so, so happy, like the way he walked, the way he sat, his slightly messy writing, the way he spoke, especially the way he said Castiel's name...

Then there was the way he held Castiel, the way he always made sure Castiel was comfortably situated before they watched television or movies, the way he kissed Castiel...

Everything about Dean was perfect. Everything about him made Castiel inexplicably happy.

Everything about the world was better, now that Dean was in his life.

Nothing could ever go wrong, not with Dean by his side.

... Right?


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: AAKSNFNSNZM I sosososoosososossoosos sorry for the late update! Anime expo took a lot out of me. uwu; but yes, I will try to keep updating more quickly and stuff!**

**I'm not too fond of this chapter, but I hope you enjoy!**

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Castiel frowned at the little bottle in his hand. Six pills left. That would last him two days. He'd texted his doctor for a refill when he had enough for ten days, but he still had not received a text or call saying his prescription was ready to pick up. It didn't normally take this long... Honestly, the only reason why he was still on the pills was because he was too terrified to have surgery or take the radioactive iodine pill. He knew he would have to stop taking them and have something else done...

Warm arms slipped around his waist from behind.

"Something wrong, babe?" Dean rested his chin on Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel shook his head, pulling out his phone and typing.

'Not particularly. Well, sort of. My doctor hasn't gotten back to me about a refill.'

Dean frowned. "How long can you last once you're out?"

Castiel shrugged. 'I've never been out of medication before; my doctor always managed to get it to me in time.'

"You're not gonna /die/ or anything, right?" Dean's arms tightened around Castiel, drawing a silent chuckle out of him.

'No, I highly doubt it.' He turned around and leaned up, pressing a kiss to Dean's cheek.

"Good, 'cause I wouldn't know what the hell to do if you did." Dean suddenly scooped Castiel up, one hand supporting his back, the other behind his knees. "So, mister Prince! What shall we do today? I don't have to work 'till afternoon tomorrow, so we can screw around for a while.~"

Castiel tapped his chin, letting his head fall to Dean's shoulder. Then he lifted his phone, typing rapidly. 'Can we go somewhere quiet? I've been itching to paint something.'

"Of course!" Dean grinned widely. He hadn't gotten to see too much of Castiel's art, aside from the first drawing he had been given, which he kept pinned to his wall by his bed.

And so, within a few hours time, the two were sitting by a nearby lake. Castiel was in his own little world, completely lost in his painting.

Dean could not help but watch him; Castiel was always breathtaking, but something about the way he looked when he was so focused made it even harder for Dean to look away...

By the time Castiel broke free of his trance, night had fallen, and Dean had dozed off in the grass next to him.

It didn't take much to wake him, and soon, the two were on their way home. The walk home was silent, but comfortably so.

Upon arriving home, Dean dragged Castiel to the couch and wrapped a blanket around them, picking up the remote and turning on the TV.

'Dean, you're going to fall asleep soon anyway; we might as well go to bed.'

Dean lazily flapped his hand at Castiel's phone "Shush, Cas, I'm comfortable." He nuzzled Castiel's stomach.

With a silent sigh of defeat, Castiel relaxed, his hand running through Dean's hair. Just as he had predicted, they were fast asleep in moments...

The next day was rather uneventful; Castiel woke late, and spent most of the day cleaning up his apartment, making sure everything was squeaky clean. There was still no word from his doctor...

Castiel woke the day after, feeling tense and anxious. Since he had been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, he had not once been without his medication. It made him nervous. At earlier stages of his illness, it probably wouldn't have been too much of an issue, but at the point he was at now...

Honestly, he was afraid to get out of bed. That is, until the warm scent of fresh pancakes wafted into his room.

Castiel climbed out of bed, stumbling tiredly over to the kitchen.

Dean turned at the sound of his footsteps, a bright smile on his face. "'Mornin', babe. Hungry?" He set a plate full of pancakes in the middle of the table.

Castiel nodded and sat down, waiting for Dean to join him before digging in.

By noon, Castiel was feeling considerably more tired than he normally was. He had planned to cook dinner for Dean, to have it waiting for him after work, but now, he wasn't sure if he would be able to...

But determination to please Dean overruled fatigue, and Castiel found himself in the kitchen, using the counter to hold himself upright as he cooked.

He began to feel a bit dizzy, and started to move towards the table, but he didn't quite make it there.

The floor was cold and hard, but it welcomed Castiel, tugging him into darkness.


End file.
